Today was an amazing day. Everywhere I went, whatever I watched, and whoever talked to me had something to say to me. I have been sad lately due to my grandfather not being around. It is so hard to not be able to see him, but I keep thinking that he will be sitting in his chair "watching" (with his eyes closed) TV.
I did not have that unusual of a day, just things that are ordinary seemed out of the ordinary for me.
First, I picked up a book at Target last night for me to read at work. I know, reading, how off task. In my defense, I subbed at a preschool for the receptionist and not much happens on Fridays. Anyways, I started reading The Wednesday Letters. It is a sweet book about a family that loses their mother and father at the same time. The book is based around letters that the father wrote to the mother every WEDNESDAY!! The children (all grown) find the letters and read them to discover some secrets that their parents had, but more importantly, an amazing love the father had for his wife and children. This book got to me a little because it reminded me of Bappaw and Granny.
Second, I went to lunch with a friend. He let me talk about my grandfather and having gone through the same thing not long ago, he had good things to say about the process and that it would get easier. I also, during lunch, realized that being sad was okay, and that it is all part of the process.
Last, I worked tonight for two super sweet little boys. I let them watch Evan Almighty. I have seen the movie a couple of times but had never really listened to some of the lines. During one scene, God (Morgan Freeman) asks Evan (Steve Correl) God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I ask God for a lot of things and can be very quick to think that he doesn't answer me. Today, however, I had to think about whether or not God has been showing me opportunities for peace, guidance, and love. Am I just not taking them? Am I looking to much at me and what I want... and not enough to God?

After putting the boys to bed, I watched a movie on the Hallmark Channel. I am a sucker for any holiday movie that comes on this channel. I will sit, watch, and cry. I love them! The one that I saw was called the Christmas Visitor. The main characters were struggling with the death of their son in the Gulf War. They put everything on hold and was so wrapped up in grief that they would not celebrate Christmas. Of course, like all the movies on Hallmark, it had a happy ending.
Seeing this movie also made me think about my sadness and my dwelling on the fact that my grandfather won't see me graduate or get married. I know in my head that he will, and in my heart too, I just am not able to grasp the idea yet. It will come, and I have to give myself time...and be patient. God is definently giving me opportunities to practice patience!