2010 has been a crazy year.  Between falling in what I thought was love, having my heart broken, thinking school was going to do me in to being in my final semester of class I have had some crazy times, broken down a few times and am actually glad that the year is coming to a close.

For 3 years now, I have done a blog post of "What I have learned".  I thought that since I have determined I am not getting off this couch until 7:00pm, I would go ahead and let all of you out in blog world read what exactly I have learned.

So here goes:
1.  No matter what I may think, I am stronger than I ever imagined and God is there for me.  I have been through a lot this year.  Many of the things you can read in my past posts.  I have had love and lost love.  I thought my world was ending, the dramatic side taking hold of my for a little bit... and then week by week and day by day, I realized that he was not the guy I wanted to be with forever.  He wasn't even the guy that I wanted to be with for a little while.  He actually did me a favor, and saved me from being the jerk in the situation.

2.  More people have my back than I thought.  As I went through all my trials, I was continuously amazed by the encouragement and prayers on my behalf.  I know that my life isn't hard compared to a million others out there, but I am glad to have people in my life that support me.

3.  There is nothing more important than family.  I have known this for a while but it was repeatedly shown as a truth to me over and over again.  Whether it was a kind word from a cousin or prayers sent up for a very sick little girl, family is what keeps me going.  Their encouragement never fails me and I love them for it.

4.  Sometimes, you just need to have fun.  Life is really too short to not have a little fun without thinking sometimes.  Be safe and don't compromise your morals or values but have fun!!  After a weekend of fun, I have learned that lesson.  ( Can I use "fun" enough?)

I am sure that there are other lessons that I have learned, but these are the big ones.

Now, for some New Years Resolutions
1. Get down to a size 10 jeans
2. Graduate!!!
3. Get a job teaching resource or in a regular classroom
4. Participate in Siesta's Scripture Memory event in December 2011
5. HAVE FUN this year!!

As this year comes to an end, I know that I will have trials in the 2011, I will laugh, cry, hate, love, and not think I can make it at all.  But I know that the Lord, my family, and my friends have my back!  And for that, I could not be more thankful.

Sometimes the difference between attention and attraction can be hard to decipher. I think there has to be some sort of attraction there for the attention to be there.

A few weekends ago, I got some attention. Was it attraction? It was there... but I honestly don't know if I even want to figure it out, or if I will get a chance....

But what I do I know, is that I had one of the best weekends I have ever had! :)

Weddings are a time of joy, love, family, friends, laughter, pretty dresses, makeup, photography, flowers, handsome men, and pretty girls.  Unless you are the bride and her two best friends.  Then it is filled with laughter, laughter, a little stress, phone calls, roadside assistance, lots of driving and then all the other fun wedding stuff.  Oh wait.... maybe that is if you are JoAnna, Sarah and I :)

I can honestly say that I consider myself to have always been blessed. I have a great family and amazing friends. I have a church family that extends across the country and support and encouragement from all aspects of my life. I have been able to create a "business" with a long list of families that trust me with their most treasured items. I have been blessed with the financial needs of attending an amazing, Christian school in order to obtain my education.

I can also honestly say that I haven't had everything handed to me on a silver platter. I haven't had the childhood that most dream about. Both my parents worked, and worked hard. We didn't have the best of things but we had the best of love.

This past week, in the midst of tears, screams, feeling alone, and the wads of cash slipping through my fingers, I had forgotten all of this. I had forgotten how my dad simply looked at me and said," you are healthy, alive and safe. That is all that matters.". Or how My sister in law let me know that I wasn't alone. I had forgotten how many friends I had that had been down this road, eating ramen for days only because it was 10 cents.

Tonight, I was reminded. I was given an unexpected blessing that came from nowhere. It is something that will help me get to the end of the "school" tunnel and is absolutely something I am in no way worthy of. I am truly, truly blessed.

Life is full of ups and downs, and I have and will continue to have my fair share of them. But I have people, many, many people, who walk in the shadows behind me, every step of the way to see me fulfill my goal, and for those, I am eternally grateful. I have people holding me up when I can't seem to do it and walking with me to the finish line, holding my hand and taking the last final steps with me.

I only hope that one day, I can meet a young person that is struggling through life and help them in the ways that I have been helped. It will be great to give back 100 times more what I have been given over the years. I am truly loved, and truly, truly thankful.


-make each day count!!

Whew!  I have had a week that I would like to forget.  It has been one of those weeks that had it not been for faith of better things yet to come, I would have been buried under my covers with some water and food and about 48 sad movies to aid my self pity party.

Please excuse me for a second while I throw that party:  I have dealt with 3 rounds of antibiotics trying to fight an infection in my tooth, my iPhone falling in the toilet (it still works, thank goodness!), the shock of how much dental work is when you don't have insurance, delayed dental work (due to the infection), the uncertainty of a potential failing grade in a class, traveling to work only to find it closed while trying to not cause a wreck because the brakes were going bad, getting the brakes fixed and  then having a flat tire on the side of 288.  All of this while I was finishing finals, trying to work, having no idea where the money was going to come from and trying to get ready for a wedding and 10 days out of town.  Needless to say, I am having trouble finding any break in the dark cloud that I so recently felt was finally breaking up.

I know that I will be okay.  I know that I have the most amazing and giving parents that I do not deserve.  I know that I have a blessed group of friends and a support system that helps me get through times like these.  And I know that it seems that all I have done recently is throw little "pity me" parties throughout this semester.

While on the side of the road tonight, waiting for my hero of a dad to come rescue me, I found myself crying.  Crying because I was tired.  Crying because I felt like I was drowning.  Crying because the last few times I have called my dad it is to tell him that something has broken and I don't have the means to fix it.  Crying because I know that my parents don't exactly have loads of money to give out to someone.  Crying because I feel like I am being a burden and I hate it.  Crying because I am emotionally, financially and physically tired.  And crying because I knew, deep down, that no matter what I was going through, there was a little baby girl that has it 400 times worse than me at the moment.

I, however, do not intend to dismiss or apologize for my feelings, or my emotional break down.  I think that everyone goes through these times and that each has their "breaking point".  I have learned that each trial God has brought me through, I am only stronger for the next. God never said our lives are going to be easy. Jesus' life wasn't easy.  Mary and Joseph definitely did not have an easy life after Mary was found to be pregnant.  Yet, they still were faithful and true to God and HIS will.

An extremely nice (and handsome) cop fixed my badly mutilated tire and I got home safely.  When I kept telling my dad sorry that I was being so expensive, he told me, "It is your time to be pooped on.  We all have a time when everything falls apart at once. It will get better." I couldn't help but smile as I was strangely comforted.  

I  know that there is going to be 1,000 more "seasons" in my life where everything is going to go wrong.  I think, that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I will take President Kennedy's advice: "Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.", the wise words of my father, and GOD' s never failing love and power

 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Yesterday I went to the Michael W. Smith concert, which was great!  I love Christmas music and MWS was the first christian artist that I remember listening to, so it was a great combination! Although he played "Friends" which is probably one of my least favorite songs of his, the arrangements and combinations of instrumental and vocal music was great!  Voice Avenue was there.  They are a group from Lee University that does 8 part accapella.  They were actually on the show "Sing off" last season.

So the concert was great, but that wasn't the best part!  Tanya and I volunteered to usher and we got to see the concert free...still is not the best part (although it was a nice perk)

The BEST part was this little old couple that sat in my section.  The lady used a walker and the man, a cane.  They reminded me of my own grandparents.  The section I was in had stairs going all the way down, so of course the lady couldn't use her walker.  We left the walker at the top and I took her arm to help guide her down the stairs to sit down.  Then I went back to get the man.  I helped him down too.  He was so sweet in making sure that her walker was going to be safe.  I told him that it was up at the top of the stairs and that I would be around the section all night.  I also told him that my grandfather used a walker and I knew how important it was for her to have that walker.

As I started to leave, he grabbed my hand and kissed it, looking up at me and saying, "Thank you for being so cheery and helpful!"  OH MY GOODNESS... talk about making a girl smile :) It was the most heartfelt and selfless compliment I have gotten in a while.  He was truly thankful for my help and it was awesome to be able to give that to him.

As the evening progressed, I would occasionally stop by their seats to see if they were okay.  Every time he would just touch my arm and smile :) At the end of the evening I saw that the woman had gotten her walker and they were on their way with their family that had come later.

I occasionally complain about having to help my grandparents.  I won't go into details because it really makes me sound ungrateful and I truly love and adore my grandparents.

But last night, helping that couple to the seats, made me realize that helping my grandparents and knowing how to support a person who cannot walk easily down the stairs had a bigger purpose.  This may seem small to a person looking in from the outside, but to me, it is just one more piece of evidence that God has a greater plan and puts things in our path for a reason.

Will you pray for this sweet little girl?  Her name is Brooklyn and she is my cousins little girl.  She was born a week ago and is in the NICU. She is waiting to have surgery but isn't strong enough yet.  She is a great baby girl and needs lots of prayers for health and strength.  Thanks!

Miranda

This weekend I went up to my Granny's house for the annual Christmas Party.  I got to see family that I usually only see once or twice a year, went to visit my grandfather's grave and ate A LOT of food!  It was a great time for me to be able to spend some time away from the books and relieve some stress.  I also was able to walk around and take some fun shots of the scenery at my granny's house. I was also able to persuade my mom to brave the cold and take a few pics of me for future use.

 This place means so much to me and holds so many dear memories of my grandfather, family and peace.  It is my heaven on earth.  Enjoy the photos. I am not the best at editing, but I think they turned out well!









 This is my Bappaw's barn.  Many times I would come into town and find him down here working on something.  It smelled of feed and grease.
 Walking through the back pasture.

 God is everywhere
 Looking at a little bridge that goes over the dried up creek. I didn't realize this was here until today.  I always used the bigger bridge that was down a little bit.



 This is the bridge that we used to throw sticks off of and watch them race down the small creek.  I loved sitting on the bridge with my cousins talking and trying to figure out life at 12.





 Taking some much updated pictures of me.

I had such a good time this weekend!