My mother just told me the news. My grandfather passed away @ 2:45 am. He is probably laughing and joking with his sister and mom right now. As much as my heart aches right now, I take joy in the thought that he is no longer in pain, and is cancer free. Goodbye ol' man! Your travels are over, rest and enjoy visiting with the family, I will see you when I get there!

My grandfather is not doing well. He has been given morphine and has been declining in health rapidly today. I feel that maybe this is a blessing. Not only for him, but for my family too. Does this make me selfish? I don't know. Does it make me ungrateful for the time I have had with him? No. I am fully aware that he has been around longer than many people with pancreatic cancer. But he is hurting. He is in pain, does not know what is going on, and is tired. How do I let go though? My heart aches every time i even think about what it will be like when he is no longer around. But i still believe in my heart that passing to be with the Lord would be a good thing for him. I know he loves me, and that he knows I love him very much. I wrote this a while back in December about my favorite person in the whole world. Here it is:

Things I Remember

Fires on the woodstove, playing house all day

Driving the tractor a million miles away

These are things I remember.

No TV to watch, no phones to ring

Staying outside, playing Queen and King

These are things I remember

Shucking corn, shelling peas

Eating blueberries as we please

These are things I remember

Exploring the barn, new finds each time

Gathering pinecones for a dime

These are things I remember

Rainy days, one trip to the playground

Kids with muddy clothes, his eyes gazing down

These are things I remember.

Receiving a quilt, knowing he’s proud

Seeing his smiling face in the crowd

These are things I remember.

Longer naps, trips every week

A mischievous smile tries to peek

These are things I remember.

Warm hugs, big heart

Knowing we will never part

All the things that I will remember.

Miranda