My vacation is almost over. As I squeeze the last few precious drops of vacation time I am reflecting on my days here. In no particular order, I have swam, sat on a beach, watched my cousin get married, drank beer with my dad, parasailed over the bay with my dad, watched a lot of tv, driven to destin, gotten krispy Kreme with my mom, help my grandfather and grandmother remember names and faces, talked to my uncle whom I haven't seen in many years, eaten crab cakes Benedict, eaten a 16 oz ribeye, eaten ALOT of seafood and slept. More details of the trip will come soon but I have learned a few things:

1. No matter what you pack, you will always need the one thing you thought you wouldn't need.
2. You should always get someone to put sunblock on your back.
3. Base (foundation) doesn't always necessarily have sunscreen in it.
4. The waves are relaxing, even when the trip is not.
5. Sometimes, the best restaurants are off the beaten path.
6. Traveling with elderly grandparents made me appreciate my very able bodied parents that much more :)

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When I was little, our family vacations consisted of packing a bunch of food, fishing poles, clothes, the Coleman stove and bug spray. We always went camping. It was fun, cheap and everyone could pretty much do what ever they wanted. Russell and I would go fishing. Keith would have his nose stuck in some book the whole week or would find a way to play with fire. Mom and dad would spend their time cooking and relaxing, and trying to keep the three of us out of trouble.
We would always eat together and would somehow meet up with other members of our extended family for the day. We would swim, play games, eat s'mores and fry fish.
With my mom being a teacher and being raised in the woods, would always find a way to teach us something. From showing us different leaves to how to tell if a snake was poisonous, we had a summer education through exploring our world.
It was the one week that we were able to escape
things at home and be just the 5 of us. We had our own jokes, sense of humor and a dysfunctional way of functioning. We all knew that getting out of our driveway would consist of 4-5 trips inside because some one left something. Dad would try to pack the car and mom would come behind and fix it her way, which would always give us more room. Keith and I would fight within two seconds of being in the car. When we finally got on the road, there were disagreements about the best road to take and what was playing on the radio. When we got to the campsite, we usually stayed in a cabin and were able to set camp up pretty quickly. It seemed almost magically to me and my young self. All of our issues and fights would dissipate into the clean lake air and sounds of happy families laughing and enjoying the sun.
It was the best week of the summer!

Some might say that I missed out on lavish vacations and seeing places that are out of this world. That maybe true. I do wish I had gone to Disney or to a European country while I was younger...this does not mean I cannot go now or when I have my own family. I do not think though, that I missed out on anything. I had every experience I needed or wanted...making memories with my four favorite people! :)
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As many of you know, I have a new nephew. If you have been reading and following along, I am sure that you sick of hearing about Eli and seeing the pictures. Up until Sunday night, I did not have any first hand knowledge of the little monkey. I had listened to my brother and sister talk about him, looked at the pictures a thousand times and "talked" to Eli on skype but had never actually seen him.

(I cried when I got the message that my brother and sister had been picked to be Eli's parents. It was one of those moments that I had been waiting for since they got married yet it completely caught me off guard.)


I ended up getting to my brothers house in 4 1/2 hours, instead of the usual 5. I think I was anxious to get out of the car and to hug the monkey. I didn't stop at all except to drive thru to get a drink :)
When I got to the house, I got settled and then proceeded to hug and kiss and introduce myself to the monkey. I got to hold him, kiss him, feed him, and even change his diaper. He was so little yet so perfect. It was truly an event that I was able to praise the Lord and thank him for such a wonderful gift.

It has been amazing to see Meagan with him, naturally taking on the job of fulfilling his needs. There have been sweet moments of singing, reading, rocking, playing and just truly enjoying the presence of an innocent, new life.

I don't know how people can not see God in the creation of a new life.

I leave tomorrow and really don't know how I am going to say goodbye. I keep praying that it will just be a temporary goodbye and that God will provide a job up here for me.  I already know that I am going to be the crazy aunt...the one that is at every game and big event he has, his biggest fan (besides mommy and daddy).  I have a lot of great aunts and uncles to look to as an example :)  

In this world I walk alone

With no place to call my home,

But there's one who holds my hand

Through rugged roads, through barren lands.

The way is dark, the road is steep,

But He's become my eyes to see,

The strength to climb, my griefs to bear.

The Savior lives inside me there.

In Your love I find relief,

A haven from my unbelief.

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God, to Thee.

Let the world fade away, I need to be alone

Simply fall on my face, here before your throne

Father find me now as I bow

At Your feet, I sing to who You are

At Your feet, I offer all my heart

At your feet it's You that I adore

I worship You, my Lord

The best of life for me is at Your feet.

There is nothing like taking 100 "inner city" 3rd graders to the zoo! It was really not as bad as I thought. I had visions of little children running all over the place, climbing on fences and trying to get into the cages with the animals.
Instead, I was able to see smiles, laughter, and eyes wide open as monkeys swung from trees and they were able to pet a baby alligator.
They were all pretty amazed at the huge coral reef aquarium!








And I actually enjoyed seeing the baby pythons that were born the other week :)


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Woohoo!!!


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Today is my brothers birthday. Yesterday was my mom's birthday.  Next week is my sister in law's birthday.  Two Sundays from now is my Dad's birthday.  May is an expensive month!

Meagan and I at Keith's wedding July '10

Russell and Eli '11

Dad (Grumps) and Eli May '11

Mom and I Chicago July '10

Happy Birthday to some of the best people I have ever known!  I love each of you and am so blessed God placed me in the family he did.  We may be loud and crazy, but I wouldn't want it any other way!!! :)

Grandma fell today. She is okay. Grandpa was more shaken up then grandma.. But while I was leaving, grandpa looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "God is good!". It has reminded me that no matter how crappy or good my life is at the moment, God is always there.

What faith that man has! He may not always know what is going on but he has never waivers in his love for God.

And on another note on how good God is...this little bundle of joy is coming home Monday! My brother and sis n law are so glad to finally, after 2 months, have him home!


We are so blessed to have him in our family. I can't wait to see his face and kiss and hug all over him. He is a gift from God and a testament of what being faithful and waiting for God's timing can produce! (that is written more for me than you)

God is good!

"The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty,
But those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty." Proverbs 21:5

Have a happy mothers day!

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My teacher and the third grade team got me some goodies to get my classroom started! Can't wait to use them.



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Today I picked up my graduation cap, gown and my tickets for my family to see me walk across the stage.  I wish that I could say this will be the last you will hear about graduation...but it won't be.  I am sure that I will have some kind of post next Saturday, telling you all about the ceremony, the party and how I feel all about it.  Then, and only then, will I resume telling you about my boring days and how I have changed my hair or other drab about my boring life.

I can't really explain what I think about the whole graduation thing.  I am so excited, actually... I am ELATED :) I really can't believe it is finally here.  For ten years I have been working on this and I never gave up.  There were times that I really wanted to quit.  I even thought about switching to a different school, somewhere that I thought would be easier.  I am quite glad that I stayed at HBU.  Although it has it's drawbacks, I feel that I got the best education for me.  I was surrounded by Christian teachers that truly cared about my education and my emotional well being.  I had a professor that would lend me her ear and her chair when I was frustrated or just needed to sit for a second.

Next Saturday, I will walk across the stage for the 2nd time in my life and complete one of my greatest dreams and desires.  I am psyched and scared all at the same time! :)

I remember that my mom spent a lot of time at his house while he was sick.  She helped my grandmother take care of him.  He had cancer.  The man who I thought would never die, who would see me graduate, get married and meet my kids had a prognosis of 6 months to live.

Pancreatic cancer became the biggest thorn in my side.  I became obsessed with knowing about the cancer, how it spread, what drugs would kill it and how far the researcher were on finding a cure.  It seemed to be surreal at the beginning.  He was the same Bappaw as he had always been.  Quiet and smooth in his movements, he went through life as he always had.  His days were filled with getting his land back in order after the hurricane, except for the hour long trips to the hospital to get chemo.  He was on experimental drugs and was monitored closely.  I wouldn't have known he was sick if it hadn't been for the pill bottles that spread across the kitchen table, collecting as the months went by.  He kept strong throughout the first year but everyone could see he was weakening.  Hours spent outside working slowly changed to long naps in his chair.  Spontaneous drives through the forestry become short trips to see family or friends.  Christmas became priceless as he made the haul to see Russell and Meagan's house.  This was the last Christmas we got to spend with him.
He spent many days under a blanket, taking a nap and trying to get enough rest.  He lost a lot of weight throughout his illness.  It was hard to see the once invincible man have a hard time sitting up in a chair for more than 30 minutes.  That man was tough, though.  He never complained or whined about being sick.  He told me that he was going to, "Live until I die".  He took the illness in stride and dealt with what God had given to him.  I remember that on one occasion, while he was still able to get up and walk around, I was sitting at the kitchen table studying.  I had just started my first semester at HBU and I had a test the next week.  As I sat there, all I could think of was wanting some sort of sign that he knew I was there.  I wanted him to acknowledge me.  I remember praying to God to help him show a little of his old self.  I needed to see a glimpse of my Bappaw.  As he walked by, his strong, callused hand squeezed my shoulder.  It was a small gesture of love, but it was what I needed.  He told me he loved me in his own way.  As I left to go back home, I knew that it was going to be the last time I saw him walking.
 Pretty soon after that, he spent more time in his bed and less time in the living room.  The last two months of his life consisted of my mom and aunt helping him to the bathroom, eating, drinking, etc.  He, however, was able to stay at home and did not need to go to the hospital for any long length of time.  My granny decided that he needed to have hospice at the end of April and got everything set up.  A bed was brought in and he was more comfortable.
He only spent about a week in the hospital bed.  I got a phone call around 2 in the morning on May 5 that he had passed away.  I never saw him after I got the shoulder squeeze.
After he passed, the funeral was planned and my grandmother asked my brother and I to sing.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

As three years have passed, I miss him just as much today as I did then.  I am sad he won't see me graduate. I know that he was proud of me.  I know that he loved me and I know that I will see him again.  Still, it doesn't make the hurt go away.  It doesn't make the  part of my heart that broke three years ago mend faster. The memories help.  The pictures of things we did together or places he took me help me to remember the man I adored.