Life--

Life is so good right now.  As I have looked back in my blog writing I see the highs and lows of my life.  Life will be good, then life will suck right around the time of finals or major projects.  I see these and can't do anything but hang my head and chuckle.  For I know that it was silly for me to freak out about everything.

I recently started a bible study on idols.  This past week we were to write a letter about what we hoped while in the bible study and just where we were in our lives.  We also had to talk about what we thought were our idols. God had actually been placing my idol on my heart for a few months now.  I had constantly pushed it away because I didn't want to give it up.  I have had many conversations that went like this:

God: Hey Miranda!  I love you, I know you are busy enjoying your break but we need to talk.  You know that thing that you check every morning and evening?  And about a zillion times between then?  The thing that fulfills your "what is happening" need?

Me:  Umm? Hey God, you mean Facebook?

God:  Yeah!  That is the thing...I think you need to get rid of it.

Me: Oh... but I keep in contact with friends and family.  If I get rid of it then how would I keep in touch with them?

God: I think the important people in your life would contact you.  Don't you?

Me:  Well, yeah...I guess.  But I am sure there is something else that is my idol.  What about movies?  Or my career? Or getting my hair done?  Isn't there anything else that I can give up? Surely Facebook is not my idol...it is harmless fun!! Please God?

God:  No.. I am sure that you need to not be on it so much.  Think of the time that you spend on it and how much better that time could be used.

Me:  (crickets chirping) God...are you sure?  I mean, really, really sure?  I don't spend that much time on it...I get on, check out what people are doing, tell them what I am doing and then get off.

God:  Miranda, when people can keep up with the day to day activities of your life thru facebook and don't have to make an effort to actually get in touch with you, you are need to quit.  Plus, I miss you, I want our quiet time back. You say that I am the most important thing in your life, yet you don't spend anytime with me.

 

 This conversation has been repeated a few times throughout the last month, even before I decided to do the bible study.  I tried many times to redirect God (oh, I know...pointless) to something else that I wanted to be my idol because I knew that it was going to be easier to give up or cut back on.   But he was consistent in what he was showing me.  So...I am giving up facebook.  I will have it to post my blogs and to receive messages but I will no longer check it all the time and have taken all alerts off my phone.

I realized that I was checking facebook the moment I woke up.  I guess I wanted to know what I missed the 7 hours I was sleeping.  I would then feel the need to tell fb what I did or thought at various points through out the day.  You really don't need to know that I am washing my hair and then going to bed.

I will use the time that I would normally be on facebook to immerse myself in God's Word.  I will use the time to learn my memory verses, work on my bible study and to just feel God's arms around me everyday.  I will start the day reading a verse or two and end my day the same.

I know that I may be the only light of God that a student might see in their entire day.  I want to be shining as bright as possible.  This may seem cliche or cheesy, but it is true.  I may not beable to speak about my faith openly with my students, but I can hide God's word in my heart and let it come through my actions and words.  I am going to encounter parents that are bitter and feel hatred towards God because of their child's disability or the grim reality of a students life span.  I want them to be able to feel the warmth of God's love when we make decisions about their child.  I want them to see God in me and facebook is not going to give that to me.

I am going to share my letter with you.  I have been trying to be alot more open about my true feelings on things in my life.  I do not know how many people read this, I have a feeling it is only a handful, but I also use this as my online journal...so here goes.

Father- What can I say?  I am insanely blessed.  I can't think of any other word.  I am starting this new chapter in my life, a chapter that opens a whole new world to me.  I can't wait to see what you have in store for me through my new students and people that will cross my path these next few months.  I know I have so much to learn and you are ever molding me and changing me into who you created me to be.  I can't explain my new outlook on life.  My new found confidence and belief in myself is beyond my comprehension.  You know my heart Lord.  You know that I still have many things I need to deal with.  I am hoping to give you these things--to take them and leave them at the cross.  I can't imagine my life without you in the center of it.  I know that you will never give me more than I can handle, even if you think I have a higher capacity level than I think I do.  I can't wait to see what you reveal to me! Love, Mir.

I leave you with this thought:  What if, instead of thinking the cliche WWJD?  What if each time you did or said something to anybody you stopped and thought : "Am I doing this for God's glory, or for my own glory, pride, comfort, happiness, or other selfish motive?"  Would it change anything that you do? Would it change your goals for yourself, spouse or children?