I am constantly amazed at the MIGHTY hand of God.  Todays lesson in Bible Study was on Spring Cleaning.  To look at your heart and see what needs to be fixed in there before you start trying to fix things on the outside.  Perfect for the week I have had... :)

After my book post that I wrote yesterday, I felt so much better just being able to get it out, and process it all.  I have not posted the link to any outside sources (Facebook)... that may come later.

I did have to work on one of my idols today, though, for it is there, every Sunday, at church.  I am trying to figure out just how he got on the throne and how to get him off, without ruining the friendship or looking like a complete loon.  Usually, as crazy as this seems, I chose my outfits wisely, make sure I am wearing perfume and double check my hair as I walk out the door... doing all of this to make sure he notices me, not just for the pure innocence in taking pride in how I present myself as a leader.  As I was getting ready this morning, God placed a thought on my heart.  "Miranda, you could wear sweat pants and a ponytail or the best fitting dress and hair do.  Either way, he should notice you.  If he doesn't, then so what?  He isn't it."  So, although I did make sure that I looked good, it was because I wanted to be presentable, not to get him to notice me.

The hardest thing about this idol is that I have completely made it something in my head.  I have assumed things and have listened to good intentions from friends.  There have been events that in a "normal" path of dating would mean things, but he is the farthest thing from normal.  And he hasn't done anything wrong.  In fact, he has called me out on things that have made me a better person.  So, in my worldly mind, I am  having to take full responsibility for putting him on the throne, and it is a hard thing for me to swallow.  There was no one or anything else that put him up there... just me.  The energy, time, and consuming thoughts about what was going on was all my doing.  As hard as it is to admit it, I have to take responsibility for this.  So this idol is a.... work in progress.