I am registering for what is to be my last lecture semester. I am to graduate in the Spring of 11. Only one more year to go before I can stop saying, "I am in school, still". Only now, a small roadblock has appeared in my nice smooth path down graduation lane. Two classes that I must take before I can student teach are offered at the exact same time! Imagine my surprise when I was trying to lock down my schedule for the Fall. This school schedule is the thing that lets me know how much work and free time I will have in my life. I am pretty much live by it for 4 months. If I have to take a class on Thursdays, I have to find another day to work with the boys. Class on Wednesday? No bible study for me.
Is this bump my fault? Probably. Will it be the absolute end of the world if things stay as they are right now? Nope.
It seems crazy to my how quickly we jump from "God is in control of my life" to " HOLY MOLEY--- what am I going to do". As long as life is great, I am all for God having control of my relationship, finances, school, friendships, etc. But once things become rocky, I want to instantly take that part of my life back and fix it, and fix it now... As I was sitting in the library, I could feel my breaths getting shorter and faster. I could feel this pressure grabbing a hold of my chest and my eyes start to well up with tears. All I could think about was that I was not going to graduate and who else could I blame. I did not think, "maybe I should pray" or " this is not the end of the world".
Do I think that God wants to keep me from graduating or that the professors are out to get me? Nope.
But who am I to question God's plans? "For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 I just got done sending an email to a friend about how God's plan is so much better than I ever thought and that I have been blessed with so much in my life. All it took was one little glitch in the system, and all my faith went right through the window.
I do not know what the next email from my professor will bring. I am hoping that it will be good news that one class got changed, or they want to pay for me to take it in the summer (that would be a miracle). But, if it isn't, I will take the news, and continue on with my classes, and not let this knock off my path. I hope and pray, that in the future, I can grow deeper in my faith and hold on to it when the little things get tough.
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