My new roommate arrived on Monday afternoon. She is someone who has been a great source of strength through my Bappaw's illness and has now decided to do something for herself. My granny is here to stay with us while recovering form her knee surgery. As much as I loved the thought of her being here, I liked the thought more than the actual event. I have rearranged my room, put another bed in to it, and put my clothes in plastic bins for the 2 months she is here. I love this woman, but AUGHHHHH!!!
One, I have never had to share my room, with anyone... Two, she stayed up last night until 2am talking...with me pitching in a few uh huh's and yeahs every once in a while.
As I sit and write this I can only think of how incredibly horrible I am and that I should be greatful for the time I have with her...what doesn't break us only makes us stronger right? The fantasy picture I had painted in my mind of my granny has been shattered. I have heard her anger, seen her pain and watched as she tried hard to be strong while taking 5 minutes to walk down the hallway in my house...which is only 6 feet long. As she talked last night about various events going on in our family at this time, I felt her anger, and how she measures the success of our family as her self-worth and contribution to the world. She came from the days of throwing NOTHING away, buying things out of necessity, not want...and forget about going to school. Your duty was at home, tending to the siblings, preparing for the glorious day that you were allowed to start your own family. My granny and Bappaw came from not so good lives, but never showed those qualities to us grandkids. I have great respect and love towards my granny. If it wasnt for her, I would not know how to fix a tear in a shirt or sew (a little). She has been dealing with a lot these past 2 years and is just now beginning to process what all has happened. However, I am praying for understanding and for peace as I go through the next two months...when my room becomes mine again.