My dad was the first man to love me, hold me, and dance with me. My dad never missed a concert, event or important day in my life. He would get off work to see a musical that I was in for all of the performances. 6 shows of a high school musical for 8 years are enough to make him Father of the Year. No matter what things my two brothers and I had going on; my dad tried his hardest to make it. If he was unable, then he would get someone to take his place. My mom talked of times when my dad would get home from work at midnight and take my brother for walks up and down the street because he couldn't sleep, even though my dad had to be up early the next morning.
This year, my family gets to celebrate two fathers, my dad and my oldest brother, Russell. It has been a blessing to see my dad and brother blossom into their new roles as grandfather and father to Eli.
I have asked each of them some questions about being fathers. I will let them do the talking!
- Eli
Most fathers have 9 months to prepare for a baby. You had only a few weeks. How did you start to prepare for this tiny baby to come home?
Russell: When we turned in our adoption profile we knew that it could be a few weeks, or a few years before we would get the call. We went ahead at that time and made the decision to start getting things ready, as if we would be getting a child as soon as possible. We prepared a room for the nursery, bought a rocker and crib and started making lists of things we would need. Once we got the call, we started buying things as we could, setting up the nursery and getting ready.
Our friends and family helped alot to. Having so many people to ask questions to, and who gave suggestions on what to buy, and what we didn't really need.
Dad, you had 9 months to get ready, what did you do?
Lamaze training and painted the room in the new house we moved into and put together a baby bed.
Russell, you knew that Eli was going to be in the hospital for a while. How long was he actually in the hospital? What complication did you have getting him home?
The toughest part of him being in the hospital was being so far away. He was in Oklahoma, we were in Texas, and there was 5 1/2 hours of asphalt in between. We could not leave till Friday afternoon because of Meagan teaching, and most of the time had to be back on Saturday night because of my responsibilities leading worship. With only a few exceptions we did alot of up one day, down the next trips. That was probably the toughest part.
I really didn't worry too much about him while he was in the hospital. We had great nurses, and they told us to call and check on him anytime. It was the next best thing to being there.
How did you and Meagan come up with your son's name, Elijah?
Russell: Meagan had first names picked out since we started this process. I got to choose the middle name and went with Glenn in honor of my Grandfather and to keep that name alive. It's also my middle name.
Dad, how did you and mom come up with Russell’s name?
Looked through baby name book to find one that went with the name Glenn.
What was it like to see Eli for the first time?
Russell: Scary... he was 2lb 1oz when we saw him for the first time. He was off the ventilator but still hooked up to tubes, and leads. Was also scary trying to figure out what each of the monitors was, and whether the numbers showing meant he was doing well or bad? Then they really scared me by asking if I wanted to hold him. I don't think I touched him at all until the nurse had laid him on my chest and covered him with a blanket. I didn't touch him at all when she took him away. I didn't want to break him.
Dad, what was it like to see Russell for the first time?
It was awesome and a little bit unnerving.
How about when you saw Eli for the first time?
Exciting, Awesome, and humbling all at the same time.
How are you adjusting to being a new dad?
Russell: Everything revolves around a 3-4 hour clock. That’s probably one of the toughest things is to schedule trips, meetings, our own meal times etc around his schedule. He still uses oxygen for feeding so those most of the time are done at home. It is an adjustment but I realize there will be many more adjustments for the rest of my life... I'm ok with that.
Dad: I had to be more responsible. It changed the way we traveled, the way we ate, nearly everything.
What is something that really surprised you about being a dad?
Russell: I'm surprised most of all how easily I have adjusted. After a few weeks it seems so natural. Nothing really surprises me and I am taking most of it in stride. There are always things that are tough, but with my wonderful wife, and God we've been able to make it through everything so far.
Dad: That I could raise children successfully with my wife’s help.
You have had many men in your life to look up to. Is there a specific tradition or value that you want to teach Eli as he is growing up?
Russell: Don't take things too seriously and spend your time, money, love, and energy on the people and things that matter in the long run. Growing up I knew many people with little money and lots of Joy, because they enjoyed what they had and did not waste time pursuing what they didn't have.
Dad, who were some father figures that you looked up to?
My dad (grandpa), Phyllis’ dad (Bappaw), and Grandpa Fleer
Is there anything else you wish to say about being a new father? Do you have any advice for those going through the first steps of adopting?
Russell: We chose to go through and agency for our adoption and I think that made all the difference in the world. To have a group of people with over 100 years of experience in adoption, who have been in almost every situation and who talk and walk with you through it was awesome. Realize that adoption is an EXPENSIVE process, but don’t wait till you have enough money to have a child, you'll never get there. We cut back on our spending, our Sunday school class held a garage sale, I made a CD that I sold, all to raise the needed money. If you pray about it, and it is what God has called you to do, then he will provide.
Dad, what advice do you have for new fathers out there?
Go with your instincts, not the books. Realize that you are going to make some mistakes, and be involved in their activities.
If you would like to read Russell and Meagan’s adoption journey, please
click here. There is also the
link to buy a copy of the CD that he made to help raise funds.
