Grandfather

11:39 PM | 0 Comments

My grandfather was taken by ambulance to the hospital today. He has been sick for almost 2 years with pancreatic cancer. As the time has passed, he has gotten weak, retained water weight, and has resolved to sleeping, eating (maybe) and sleeping some more. It is hard to think that my childhood hero is not as strong as he used to be. It is really hard to know that he will not see me graduate, get married, or see my children. I do feel blessed to have all 4 of my grandparents still here. i know that I am one of few in that aspect. I know that he is hurting, and is tired, so I just pray that whatever the outcome, he is not hurting anymore. My Bappaw is a special man that will never ever leave my heart :)

12:26 PM | 0 Comments

I watched next to last episode of The Biggest Loser last night. Not being a fan of reality shows, I really had no desire to watch it, but the child that I was taking care of watches it faithfully, so I got my first exposure to it!
Through out the show, there were emotional highs and lows. Two brothers, Mark and Jay, were still in, along with Kelly, a woman who had lost 80 lbs, Roger, a man that had lost maybe around 100, and Ali, who had gone from 239 to 149 in 100+ days.
Basically, throughout the show all 5 were taken to Australia f0r a week. During this "vacation" they learned how to buy food at local markets, saving money and calories, and were still required to their exercises. They were able to see some sites and went out one night dancing. Their challenge for the week was a triathlon through the city of Sydney.

All in all, I have to say that it was a pretty good show, but the last 20 minutes were gut wrenching. After all of the contestants had weighed in, the two brothers were under the yellow line. This meant that they had lost less body fat than the others. Unfortunately, the other three contestants had to vote one of them off. What a difficult situation! After spending 100 days of working out, eating and getting to know one another, these three humans, had to make one of their own an outcast. They had to make the best decision for themselves, in order to succeed in their goals. Everyone, including the host was crying. I am sure all of the viewers were getting a little misty-eyed also:)
I felt the rules of the game were not fair, that they should not have to make that kind of decision in ONE hour, 60 short, short minutes.
The show got me thinking about life, and the decisions that I have had to make. I came up with this conclusion:
Sometimes, the rules of the game aren't fair, and everyone knows that life is not fair. Life makes you choose between things, and as hard as it may seem at the time, it is generally worth it in the end. Decisions aren't things that you should regret, because at that time, that is what you thought was best for you. Decisions do not make up your life, events do. God wants us to rely on HIM, through every decision and every event.
Endurance? What is it? Webster's Dictionary defines it as the ability to withstand hardship or adversity. Whether you are running a race or taking a horrific semester at school, you need endurance. You need the strength to get through whatever trials get thrown at you and enable you to reach your goal.
Recently, my grandma had knee surgery. She went in a healthy 70-something old woman. But as she came out of the surgery, her endurance had dwindled down to nothing. She had no energy, she was susceptible to illnesses and just did not have the strength she needed or wanted. She caught pneumonia while being bed ridden and instead of the week recovery she was supposed to have, she is still, after three weeks, having difficulty finding the strength to even walk from her room to the living room.
Endurance, however is not just physical or mental. It is also spiritual. God puts roadblocks in our path.. not to test us, but to help us to remember to rely on God. During the last month, my grandparents have not faired very well. One, my Bappaw, has terminal cancer and is in the last stages of it. My grandma, as mentioned before, had knee surgery and two days after she came home from the rehab center, my grandfather fell and went to the hospital with what we thought was a stroke. The series of events really took a toll on my faith. I kept asking God why? Why me? What is your plan? What do you have in store for me? I cant handle three of them hurting, Lord. I think that I was whining more than really asking Him. His reply? If you would rely on me, you wouldnt have questions. If you rely on me, you wouldnt be worried.
POW!! God got me right in my heart. As I thought about endurance though, I realized that God gives us those trials to help us grow. He gives us those troubles to help us to rely fully and completely on God. Trials gives us endurance, and endurance gives us the ability to fully rely on God.

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