I have decided to make an effort to be incredibly honest on this blog, to the point of humiliation and embarrassment to myself. I promise not to embarrass anyone else but myself, and will NEVER put someone down or single them out. I feel however that some of the things that I am going through may be able to help others in my situation, as embarrassing as it may be. I firmly believe that everything that is happening in my life has or will happen to someone else. As a Christian, single girl, it is important for us to stick together and support each other, through the good, bad and ugly :)

I have been going through a lot of woe is me time. Woe is me that my grandfather died, and woe is me that I am one of the only ones of my friends/family without a special someone. Woe is me that I have not graduated yet and woe is me that I still live at home. Are all these things bad? No! Are they things that bother me no matter what others say? YES! But all of these things are not major issues...they all have a common thread. They all have to deal with the fact that I want something to come easy to me, for once in my life. It is hard being the one that sits back and waits...seeing everyone else get married, receive that dream job or apartment. It is hard to answer the questions at family gatherings and friends' parties. It is frustrating to think that something is going one way, and then realizing that in a second, they are going another. It is hard to be "just a friend".
Does this mean that I should throw a temper tantrum and curl in a ball? I wish...but I keep trudging along. Sitting through class and doing my best on everything; going on many first dates, or no dates at all. Keeping the peace with my parents until graduation day and I can finally move. I realize that in my heart is where I keep the things that are vital to my existence... God, my family (no matter how much they drive me crazy) and my hopes and dreams.
Why is it that when a friend is going through a trial, we give advice. I catch myself telling people what I would do, or that they should do this... Can't someone just tell me.."you know, that sucks, and I am so sorry that you are going through this" I realize that you are glad that you aren't dating anymore. I know that God has that someone special for me and that it is His timing, not mine. I know that my grandfather is looking down at me and watching over me. I know to keep God in the middle of everything. I also realize that all of these fears are normal and many people have them.

Yet, I enjoy hearing the stories of those that are past this stage in their life. It is comforting to know that it sucked for them as well, but that they made it through. It is almost like those chick flick movies where the girl always ends up with her true love, no matter what obstacles she goes through. It gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling.

God has given me a lot of trials this past year. Some big (the passing of my grandfather), some small (singing a solo in church), and some medium sized (getting through the semester of school) He has pulled me through all of them and I am still standing, still kicking. So I continue to stay strong, to be a friend, help my best friend plan her incredible wedding, and to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ. Will I make it? Yes. Will it be easy? No. But if God made it easy for me then why would I need to lean on Him? Why would I constantly pray to Him about things?

Tag, you're it!
Around blog land, there has been a picture tag going around and I was tagged by Michelle. The object of the picture tag is to:
1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder
3) Explain the picture
4) Tag 4 people to do the same
NO CHEATING! (cropping, editing, etc!)


Well, this picture is not that exciting... I didn't change anything... This is from when I went to the astros game for Second Baptist Night. I was so excited because we had seats right by the bull pen and even had some of the home runs come close to us. It was a great night!

I tag Cara, Russell, Amy, and Keith

Today was an amazing day. Everywhere I went, whatever I watched, and whoever talked to me had something to say to me. I have been sad lately due to my grandfather not being around. It is so hard to not be able to see him, but I keep thinking that he will be sitting in his chair "watching" (with his eyes closed) TV.
I did not have that unusual of a day, just things that are ordinary seemed out of the ordinary for me.
First, I picked up a book at Target last night for me to read at work. I know, reading, how off task. In my defense, I subbed at a preschool for the receptionist and not much happens on Fridays. Anyways, I started reading The Wednesday Letters. It is a sweet book about a family that loses their mother and father at the same time. The book is based around letters that the father wrote to the mother every WEDNESDAY!! The children (all grown) find the letters and read them to discover some secrets that their parents had, but more importantly, an amazing love the father had for his wife and children. This book got to me a little because it reminded me of Bappaw and Granny.
Second, I went to lunch with a friend. He let me talk about my grandfather and having gone through the same thing not long ago, he had good things to say about the process and that it would get easier. I also, during lunch, realized that being sad was okay, and that it is all part of the process.
Last, I worked tonight for two super sweet little boys. I let them watch Evan Almighty. I have seen the movie a couple of times but had never really listened to some of the lines. During one scene, God (Morgan Freeman) asks Evan (Steve Correl) God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I ask God for a lot of things and can be very quick to think that he doesn't answer me. Today, however, I had to think about whether or not God has been showing me opportunities for peace, guidance, and love. Am I just not taking them? Am I looking to much at me and what I want... and not enough to God?

After putting the boys to bed, I watched a movie on the Hallmark Channel. I am a sucker for any holiday movie that comes on this channel. I will sit, watch, and cry. I love them! The one that I saw was called the Christmas Visitor. The main characters were struggling with the death of their son in the Gulf War. They put everything on hold and was so wrapped up in grief that they would not celebrate Christmas. Of course, like all the movies on Hallmark, it had a happy ending.
Seeing this movie also made me think about my sadness and my dwelling on the fact that my grandfather won't see me graduate or get married. I know in my head that he will, and in my heart too, I just am not able to grasp the idea yet. It will come, and I have to give myself time...and be patient. God is definently giving me opportunities to practice patience!

First off, I would like to tell myself congratulations on my 50th post. It is hard to think that I have had 50 interesting things to tell you in the last year! Well, I think they are interesting! Yea me!!
Anyways, the actual reason for this post is to invite everyone to a Christmas Cantata.
I am singing in All is Calm, All is Bright at Pearland First United Methodist Church on December 14 (Sunday) We are performing during the worship services so one is at 8:15, and the other at 10:30. There will be a full orchestra accompanying the choir. It sounds pretty good, and we are very happy to spread the news of the birth of Jesus. If anyone would like to come, admission is free, so come early, and get a seat!

Pearland FUMC
2314 N. Grand Blvd.
Pearland, Tx 77581
8:15 am and 10:30 am
All is Calm, All is Bright

I am the director of a bible study at my church. I do not teach, but I make sure that there are teachers, provide fellowship and coordinate different activities for us to during the month. I absolutely love it!
Last Monday, my church, Second Baptist, held their annual Angel of Light Christmas service project. During the past month, each campus has collected toys for a certain age group to be given out as present. On Monday, we went to the Woodway campus and helped to give out toys! Each family gets a hot meal, fun, fellowship, and a toy for each child. They also get back on the bus and find a bag of food on their seat. It is a great way to serve those less fortunate and to really give thanks to God of the many blessings he gave us. It was a great time!
After we did this, a group of us went to Starbucks to get some coffee and hang out for a little bit.

So..I have now realized that only a handful of people read my blog. In a way, it is dissapointing, but not many know I have one, so I guess I will blame it on a lack of advertising :) But to get down to business... Cara and Russell, look for a little something coming your way and remember to "pay it forward"
Cara, could you email me your address? Thanks!

Joni, what a great idea you have continued! It is more of a blessing to give than to recieve. I actually heard on the radio today that a Starbucks (somewhere) had a record 109 "pay it forward" angels! The customers just kept paying for the person behind them order. How awesome is that!

So.. I apparently have been blessed with a pay it forward surprise from my dear friend Joni. There for, I would like to continue it. The first three people that leave a comment for me will get a little something special to brighten their day!

Keep the Reason of the Season close to your heart!